Just A Dream

Today,
I’ve been listening to this song
It really reminds me of you
how I couldn’t stop thinking of you
and that really hurts me.

What should I do to take you out of my mind?
‘Cause whenever I tried to forget you
somehow things just reminded me of you
I still found your name everywhere
not even your name but name of city you’ve lived.

Am I getting out of my mind?
They probably thought I am.
Sometimes I just want to shout it out,
“Please change your name, please, please!”
I do not hate you, I really don’t.

I just can’t understand
we do not have chances to meet up
after all these years
you are still becoming one of my dreams
that I have to forget.

Was it a date that you gave me?
The year sounded familiar,
the rest didn’t.
I couldn’t remember anything of it.
I’m sorry.

I’ve told myself
“Be patient. Hold your head up high”
every time I met new friends
I imagined how it really felt
if I’d meet you for real.
I thought it would be in the end
But another dream I had to forget
that drove me crazy anyway.

How many times I saw you in my dreams?
I knew you were not the one
who would turn around your back at me.
I hope it was you, who told me,
“Don’t worry. Everything will be OK”
I’ve done everything to forget you
even the foulest one I could do
I did it.

Memories of you
kept coming back on my mind.
I do not blame you,
I do not blame myself,
I do not blame the distance
that keeps us apart.

I should have realised though
I have lost you long time ago
Before I knew it,
I have already lost you.

One day,
I spent my time
to read all the mails from you
Reading every single word you wrote
felt like you were in front of me
speaking to me.
No, I don’t want to run away
No more.

I let you go out of my life
thing that I should have done
many years ago.
We may never communicate again
I do hope you take care of yourself
Oh, don’t worry about me.
Really.

I’m really sure you’ll be OK.
Every time I was worrying about you,
You came up in my dream saying,
“Don’t worry about me, I’m fine”
You probably didn’t know
how I wanted to hug you
after the accident you had
I hope no more pain on your back.

Ah, you might not need me at all that time.
Funny how I shed my tears
for I can’t have a chance giving you a hug
even just a little hug
for the first and the last time
I’d ask no more.
Maybe you were just a dream
that I couldn’t reach
I couldn’t reach your heart either.

All I could do….
Just to think of you
that I have to forget
Just to see you from afar
that I have to close my eyes soon.
Funny to think
Better not to meet you at all.

Time flies,
If someday we meet by chance,
Perhaps I wouldn’t recognise you,
you wouldn’t recognise me either.
Or if we do, we’d laugh at it
At times we’ve spent together
that I really enjoyed
spending every second with you.

I’ll be fine
My heart might be broken
But not my life
that I still have to carry on.
Adieu, cheri.

==written on 17 November '05==